


2 A.M., Who Do You Love?

by halfmoonjisung



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Hurt/Comfort, Kim Seungmin-centric, M/M, Shooting Stars, We Die Like Men, closing party, meteor showers, not a single thing in this fic is real, not edited, retreat, seungmin just doesnt want to say good bye, side minsung if you squint, word vomit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25480264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfmoonjisung/pseuds/halfmoonjisung
Summary: “It’s almost 2,” he said, glancing at his wrist watch and then at the window where the midnight sky was in view. “The stars.”Everybody rushed outside, eager to witness the shooting stars, each one of them hopeful to be able to cast a wish skyward. Seungmin joined them in sprinting towards the open field, but once they were in the area, he slowed down his pace, letting the people in front of him each find the spots they wanted to be at when the meteor shower takes place.He was content with where he was; so long as the night sky’s in his sight, then he’d be fine.(or, Seungmin makes a few wishes until he realizes he doesn't have to.)
Relationships: Kim Seungmin/Seo Changbin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 80





	2 A.M., Who Do You Love?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seungbincore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungbincore/gifts).



> happy birthday laney!
> 
> this was... supposed to be just around 1k words... and then... yeah... there's not much plot, just ridiculous word vomit.
> 
> title from taylor swift's "enchanted" :)
> 
> i wish, hope, you enjoy, somehow :D

They let their day start when the sun began to set.

Almost everybody agreed to that. The only one who complained about the proposal was Jisung, but that’s mostly because he didn’t want to wait any longer to start their closing party, something Hyunjin pointed out while sticking his tongue out. The rest of the meeting flowed with the members helping out with the planning while Hyunjin and Jisung argued in the background.

This wasn’t the first closing party Seungmin had attended. Every year, their performing arts club would plan a hang out between all members to celebrate the end of another fruitful academic year and to honor the seniors who just graduated and would be starting college in the next term. 

Seungmin had been a part of the club ever since he was a freshman, unlike Hyunjin and Jisung who decided to audition when they were sophomores. Felix and Jeongin only joined this year. That’s why, among them, he probably had the closest relationship with the seniors of the school and their club.

That’s why, with him, their departure would sting a little bit more.

They booked the private resort at 6 pm, wanting the merriment to take place under the guide of the soft light of the stars rather than the scorching heat of the sun (and, they heard there was a meteor shower that’s going to happen a couple of hours past midnight, so they’d rather not miss that). Thanks to Bang Chan, an alumni of their club, they managed to avail a discounted promo while still being able to use all the inclusions.

The pattern of their schedule was different from the previous years, but Seungmin could still point out the similarities. First would always be dinner, and then a little leisure time where they’re free to do whatever they wanted, and then competitive group activities, and the end would always be a comfortable gathering in one place where they’ll pour their hearts out and talk about the memories they shared and how grateful they were for each other (this was also the part where they surprise the seniors with whatever gifts they rushed and then the seniors would start bawling their eyes out with tears they’ve been trying to hold since the start of the retreat).

The only thing that was altered was the inclusion of a few minutes dedicated to stargazing just to catch the anticipated meteor shower.

It should’ve been familiar to Seungmin by now. He should’ve been used to good bye’s.

Still, his heart ached.

That didn’t happen the last two years he attended their annual gatherings.

They had a picnic dinner in the grass, and even though the menu consisted of a few of Seungmin’s favorite dishes, he still lingered a little bit at the back of the line, letting other people rush over to the baskets first, content with just putting whatever’s left over on his plate.

Even after that, he wasn’t that enthusiastic to eat. Jisung, who was seated right beside him on the grassy spot they claimed, was already on his second plate while Seungmin was still picking on the nuggets on his plate.

“You okay?” Jisung asked, or at least that’s what Seungmin assumed he asked. His friend’s cheeks were stuffed and full that the question came out like gibberish.

“Fine,” he replied, but not quite.

Jisung rolled his eyes. This time, he swallowed his food before talking. “You’re not fooling me, Min. Something’s up.”

Before Seungmin could come up with an excuse, someone from behind him spoke.

“Can I sit with you, guys?”

Seungmin suddenly found the nuggets appetizing and placed two in his mouth immediately. Jisung looked at him weirdly before turning to the direction where the voice came from. “Sure, hyung.”

Changbin plopped down the ground in front of Seungmin and Jisung, their three figures forming a little triangle on the ground among other little circles scattered in the field. The other two started to talk about Changbin’s course, something Seungmin ultimately decided to block from his ears as he rushed to finish his meal.

“Slow down,” Changbin told him sometime in the middle of their conversation when he noticed that Seungmin kept picking up speed just as much as he was picking up his food.

Even Jisung commented on it. “I thought you weren’t hungry…”

After Seungmin purposely filled his cheeks with rice, he only gave them an apologetic look and pointed at his cheeks, making a gurgling noise that he hoped would pass as any phrase hindered by the contents of his mouth. He went back to his plate before the two went back to their discussion.

A little after that, after Seungmin finished scraping the last bits of sauce on his plate with his last piece of cheese stick, he stood up without excusing himself, startling both Changbin and Jisung.

“You’re done already?” Jisung asked in disbelief.

Seungmin only smiled in reply, biting on his cheese stick before hastily walking towards the wash area.

After dinner, Jisung pleaded for Seungmin to join him to take a dive in the pool, something Seungmin declined before Jisung could even finish his plea.

“But  _ why?! _ ” Jisung whined.

Seungmin only raised his eyebrows towards the direction where Lee Minho was preparing to swim. “Figured you might want some time alone.”

Jisung turned crimson and hit his chest while screaming curses, but he didn’t force Seungmin any longer to join him and let his friend walk over to one of the large cottages where the other members were playing poker.

He sat beside Felix, telling Hyunjin, the dealer, to include him in the next deal. Just after he received his fifth pair of cards, he felt someone occupy the vacant space beside him.

“Deal me in, Hyunjin,” Changbin said, pulling out his purse.

Seungmin heaved a silent sigh.

Felix, however, was beaming from his other side. “I thought you were hitting the pool! You couldn’t stop talking about it a while ago in the car ride.”

“Eh,” Changbin started. “I didn’t feel like swimming. Besides, I could use extra cash.”

Hyunjin laughed before offering an apologetic smile. “I just dealt the cards, maybe next round.”

“It’s okay. I’ll wait, then.”

“There’s no need for that,” Seungmin said, surprising the other members and himself. He slid the two cards in front of him, still face down, towards Changbin and stood up from his seat. “I’m going to go for a dive.” Then, towards Changbin, without looking at him, “I didn’t open those cards yet. You can use them.”

Before any of them could ask, he was already waving with his back turned on them, making his way to the room he was sharing with Jisung, Hyunjin and Felix to get the trunks he wasn’t really planning on using until now.

He whispered an apology to Jisung, who was floating by the corner with Minho, feeling bad that he interrupted his friend’s moment. Jisung called him ridiculous and said he was glad Seungmin’s there, and the next thing he knew was that he was roped to play a swimming race with them.

When the time came for the games the club officers prepared, Seungmin sat out for most of the games. He was entertained enough by just seeing his friends having fun and making a fool out of themselves, though, apparently he wasn’t going to get through the night by doing just that.

“Right,” Minho called. “Our next game is the newspaper dance for pairs! But, I want those who haven’t participated yet to join the game this time.”

Like the true friend he was, Jisung pointed at Seungmin. “He hasn’t joined anything yet!”

Seungmin took off one of his slippers and threw it to Jisung who barely caught it in time.

“Alright, Seungmin,” Minho called, reaching out his hand. “You’re up.”

He called for a few more people who haven’t joined any game yet and were also betrayed by their friends. Seungmin pointedly ignored Changbin when he was pulled into their group, cursing at himself for not joining any games earlier. 

Minho announced that there weren’t enough players and allowed those who have already played to join, and Seungmin was already marching towards Jisung’s place and dragging him to the center with the other players.

“Okay, because this is about trust, or something like that… actually not really…” Minho said. “You get to choose your partners!”

Seungmin didn’t know how exactly it happened, but the first person he looked at at the mention of “partners” was Changbin, and he felt his heart leap out of his chest when he found the other already looking right back at him. He quickly turned away and grabbed Jisung’s arm with more force than intended.

“Ow!” His friend yelped, struggling to get himself out of Seungmin’s grip. “What?!”

“Be my partner,” Seungmin intended for it to come out as a command rather than a plea, but it felt a lot more like the latter.

Thankfully, Jisung just agreed, still wriggling his arm. “I will, if you let my limb breathe!”

Changbin ended up being partnered with Jeongin, and since the older guy was naturally gifted when it comes to strength and endurance, they made it to the final fold and won. Jisung and Seungmin, however, collapsed their intertwined lopsided figure at the third fold, neither knowing who went out of balance first.

All throughout the night, Seungmin refused to look at Changbin. However, pointedly ignoring someone doesn’t exactly work right, because the more you cared if they were looking at you, the more you’d feel if they were.

And Seungmin felt Changbin looking at him all throughout the night.

He looked everywhere but at Changbin.

Seungmin was getting pretty confident that he’d get through the entire party without having to deal with him, despite the older guy’s obvious efforts to spend every second with him. Every time Changbin would try to approach him, Seungmin would hide behind Jisung, or Hyunjin, or Felix, or even Jeongin, so long as there’s someone that he could focus on instead of Changbin.

That didn’t last long.

By the time they finished their fifth (or was it sixth?) game inside the cottage where they were playing card games a while ago, Jeongin was already calling for them to go to the field.

“It’s almost 2,” he said, glancing at his wrist watch and then at the window where the midnight sky was in view. “The stars.”

Everybody rushed outside, eager to witness the shooting stars, each one of them hopeful to be able to cast a wish skyward. Seungmin joined them in sprinting towards the open field, but once they were in the area, he slowed down his pace, letting the people in front of him each find the spots they wanted to be at when the meteor shower takes place. 

He was content with where he was; so long as the night sky’s in his sight, then he’d be fine. 

He saw Jeongin get in between Hyunjin and Felix and took their hands in his, pulling them with him as he rushed further into the field while they let the sound of their laughter reach the skies. He saw Jisung searching the field for someone, and his friend’s eyes lit up when he found Minho doing the exact same thing as him.

Seungmin allowed himself to smile, despite the familiar ache creeping its way back to his chest.

“Found you,” someone said from beside him.

_ Ah, of course. _ Seungmin thought in vain. “Hey, hyung,” he greeted, still looking ahead.

“You were avoiding me.”

_ Straight to the point.  _ “Maybe,” Seungmin didn’t bother lying. The ache now reached the area around his heart.

He let himself hear the backdrop as he and Changbin stayed silent.

And then, Changbin asked, “Why?”

“There!” Jeongin yelled from somewhere in the field. Seungmin was mildly surprised that he managed to get the attention of everybody outside despite the open space. “They’re starting.”

Indeed, streaks of light filled the sky, at first one by one, and then they came in pairs, and then the entire bunch came. He saw the people closing their eyes after getting a glimpse of the shower, some of them even clasping their hands as they did so.

Seungmin gave the shooting stars one more glance before closing his own eyes, but his head was still held up high, upwards to the sky.

And he wished.

_ I wish, hope, Chan hyung’s doing well. _

_ I wish, hope, Jeongin would take that chance to be an executive committee in the school journal. _

_ I wish, hope, Hyunjin gets accepted to the scholarship program he applied to. _

_ I wish, hope, Felix would open up more and tell us what’s bothering him. _

_ I wish, hope, Minho hyung will top that summer class. _

_ I wish, hope, Jisung never doubts himself again. _

_ I wish, hope, Jisung and Minho hyung will reach out to each other, not just from opposite sides of the road of their houses, but from their hearts to the other’s. _

_ I wish, hope, Changbin hyung will become successful. _

_ I wish, hope, Changbin hyung will do well in college. _

_ I wish, hope, Changbin hyung will be happy in that new place. _

_ I wish, hope, Changbin hyung will achieve everything he’s dreamed of. _

_ I wish Changbin hyung’s college was nearby, just like Minho hyung’s and Chan hyung’s. _

_ I wish I had time to see Changbin hyung in the future, just like Jisung would be able to see Minho. _

_ I wish Changbin hyung was just close. _

_ I wish I did something about what I felt… if only I knew he’d be far away… _

_ I wish I was allowed to wish these. _

_ I wish, hope, I could stop wishing these. _

He was pretty sure there were multitudes of falling stars in that sky, and that perhaps, at least one of them listened, picked up even just one wish from his aching heart. Feeling the comfort of the aftermath of letting all out in silent whispers, he opened his eyes. There were people who were already admiring the sky, while there were still others still halfway through with their wishes.

Out of curiosity, he turned sideways to see if Changbin was done, only to see Changbin already looking at him.

Seungmin was suddenly aware of the chills the breeze of two am brought, grazing his skin lightly as he found himself unable to divert his eyes from Changbin.

He tried to lighten up the mood. “How were the shooting stars?”

Changbin shrugged. “Don’t know. Didn’t look.”

Seungmin frowned. “You didn’t wish?”

“I did.”

“How?” Seungmin asked, but he let the question die in the air as soon as he let it out, the answer dawning upon him. Changbin only smiled.

All throughout the night, Changbin was looking at him.

Missed an entire meteor shower just to look at him.

Wished not to the stars, but while looking at him.

“Why were you avoiding me?” Changbin asked softly.

Seungmin forced himself to look away.

Changbin didn’t let the silence engulf them. “Seungmin…”

He still didn’t look at Changbin. “I… didn’t want to say good bye.”

They both welcomed the silence this time. The chatter from the people ahead was now slowly growing, reaching their place.

“You were leaving,” Seungmin continued. “To a farther university. And it’s only time before you drift away. And… if I came to you tonight, I’d be forced to say goodbye. I’d be forced to seal these things. I’d be forced to let go.”

The breeze brushed against his skin again, as if it was comforting him. 

“I don’t want to say good bye,” he added, now looking down to the ground. “I don’t want to let go.”

He realized that, in the span of three years,  _ this  _ was the first time he actually admitted to anyone about how he felt. Three years of admiring, three years of staying even after their practice has ended just to accompany the higher years with their tasks, three years of wanting to spend time with him, three years of doing just that, three years of believing that Changbin would always be within reach, three years of believing he still had time.

Three years of believing they still had time.

Three years where he could’ve earlier wished everything he thought a while ago.

He heard a soft chuckle coming from Changbin. “You know what I wished for?”

“No,” Seungmin replied, just so he wouldn’t leave the other hanging.

There was a pause, and then, “I wished you’d look back at me.”

And then Seungmin did.

Right after Changbin said those, he looked at him.

And like always, Changbin was already looking right back at him.

“It’s not good bye,” he continued. “But it will be if you keep pushing me away like what you did a while ago.”

Seungmin couldn’t help but laugh at that. Now that he thought of it, it  _ was  _ a little bit ridiculous.

“I wish I told you earlier…” Seungmin whispered, the ache in his chest now turning into something else—something comforting. “Not like this.”

Changbin took a step forward at the same time he took Seungmin’s hand in his. Seungmin let him. “I wish you’d stop wishing,” Changbin said. “Not when you already have this.”

“But… you’ll be away.”

“And?”

“You’re…”  _ out of reach.  _ “Far.”

Changbin smiled. He tilted his head a little bit and nodded upward. “See that?”

Seungmin raised an eyebrow. “The sky?”

“Yeah.”

“What about it?”

“So long as we’re looking at the same night sky,” Changbin continued. “I’m not really far.”  _ I’m not really out of reach.  _ “You don’t have to wish.”  _ You don’t have to let go. _

And Seungmin didn’t know why, but he felt the newfound emotion now blooming in his chest, replacing what was once a steady ache that brought him down, but this one was making him feel light, making him want to fly, and so he did. He rushed forward and wrapped his arms around Changbin, let his head be buried in the crook of his neck, let himself be held just as much as he was holding on.

He cast his eyes upward, and the night sky greeted him. Seungmin smiled.

Still in Changbin’s embrace, he said, “I’ll always look for you, you know.”  _ I’ll always look at you. _

Changbin held him closer. “I’m already here by that time.”  _ I’m already looking right back. _

They stayed like that, under the promise of the night sky.

And they let their day end when the sun began to rise.

**Author's Note:**

> please greet my friend a happy birthday! and check out their works!
> 
> thank you for reading! leave a comment or kudos if you want :D
> 
> [twt](http://twitter.com/halfmoonjisung) | [cc](http://curiouscat.me/halfmoonjisung)


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